just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
