She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
