Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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