TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize