yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
