chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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