I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
