Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
