..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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