when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize