moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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