please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
