If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
