There was a lot of him and a little penis
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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