If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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