Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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