So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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