No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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