I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
