i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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