If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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