not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
