i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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