sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
