it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
