I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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