i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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