Buhtt sex?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
