I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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