we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
