I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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