He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
