Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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