on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm too high and old for this...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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