So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
