Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
