..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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