The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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