drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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