i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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