That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
