You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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