It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Randomize
