have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize