dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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