i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
