I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
