Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
