I'm jealous of your bromance
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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