Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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