Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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