Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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