Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
