I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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