i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
