There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize