Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
that is very illegal...i love you.
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