I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
