living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
